CHEMSEX: THE 4-1-1 ON PnP

Many of you might have read this headline and asked “what the hell is chemsex?” Since most of us left curiosity in the closet, let me tell you.

At its most rudimentary, PnP (party and play) and chemsex describes sexual activity while under the influence of drugs, or “chems”. While drugs like cocaine, ketamine and ecstasy each fall under the PnP umbrella, the most common chems associated are typically crystal meth, mephedrone, and GHB/GBL (otherwise known as ‘G’).

While PnP is the most common terminology in Canada, the term varies by region, country and cis and trans communities. In other countries, the terms “high fun”, “high and horny (HnH”), “chems-friendly”, “chems”, “parTy”, “chill out”, “sleazy sex”, “Tina” and “slamming” may be used.

It is estimated that anywhere from 5 to 20% of Canadians participate in PnP. A survey of almost 5,000 gbMSM Canadians (between 2005 and 2007) found that over 60% of respondents had used one or more recreational substances before or during sex in the previous six months. Of this number, 21% reported using drugs commonly used for PnP.

A decade later, the European MSM Internet Survey (EMIS) polled 134,000 participants from 49 countries, including Canada, and found between 6% and 8% of Canadians reported using stimulant drugs to “make sex more intense or last longer” in the past four weeks. With the inherent stigma that comes from drug use, these figures may be even higher.

Given the opportunity to write about such a significant yet sensitive subject, I reached out to Devan Nambiar, manager of capacity building and talent development, and Jordan Bond-Gorr, who is active in toronto’s PnP community and is the coordinator of party and play/chemsex initiatives, at the Gay Men’s Sexual Health Alliance, who do fantastic and invaluable work championing the health of 2SGBTQ+ men in Ontario. 

I also reached out to you, our beloved 2SGBTQ+ community, to share the questions you had about PnP, so we can all feel comfortable and confident when participating, discussing, consenting or declining when or if we choose to engage.

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1. What are the reasons people engage in PnP

Some people report they use PnP to facilitate, sustain, and enhance sexual pleasure, connections, desire, sensation, and stamina. It may also help someone explore sexual limits that they may be uncomfortable with while sober. Of course, PnP doesn’t always work the way folks hope it does and can in some situations hinder a sexual experience. 

Since drugs may remove and reduce inhibitions, some report that they use PnP to help facilitate sex with folks they may feel are “out of their league” ordinarily. Similarly, it may help one feel more confident about themselves. 

It has been reported that PnP may also help folks cope with the impacts of internalized homophobia, discrimination, lack of acceptance, concealment of sexual orientation, and rejection as defined by intra- minority stress and minority stress. Similar impacts include: isolation, loneliness, adverse childhood experiences, trauma, HIV stigma, and grief and cumulative loss due to AIDS.  

Though PnP has not been formally assessed as being effective for the above reasons, the experiences of the PnP community are valid and deserve attention. It is important to remember that the experiences of each person can vary, and what may be true for one person may not be for you. 

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2. Why is PnP especially popular among gay men?

Homosexuality was criminalized until 1969 and we had no marriage rights or spousal benefits until 2005. So when you consider the collective and generational trauma, lack of social spaces for authentic connections, and simply living your daily life in a heteronormative world over the years, it’s not a stretch to consider why some might engage in or favour PnP. 

Others simply do it to pursue creative outlets for exploring kinks and fetishes. Some do it for more intense sexual experiences, like sex with multiple partners or sex lasting several days.

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3. What are some ways to more responsibly engage in PnP? 

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Talk to your healthcare provider: Have an open conversation with your healthcare provider if you engage in PnP. They can help you identify any general risks of PnP, specific considerations or watch-outs based on your medical conditions or prescription drugs you may be taking, and help ensure you are being as safe as possible. 

Do your research: Know the drugs you’re taking, who is providing them, and who you are doing them with. It’s also important you know your limits and boundaries, and to maintain them before, during and after the experience. Set a time for yourself to come home, a spending budget and how often to PnP without it interfering with your day-to-day activities.

Plan ahead: Bring any prescription medication(s) you need for a few days, and pack some towels, clothes, gum, sunglasses, lip balm, water, light snacks, to keep you comfortable and satiated. 

Use new (unused) safer-use supplies:  Bring your own pipes, syringes, snorting straws, and alcohol wipes and sanitize everything. If you will be using condoms, bring them along as well.

Practice self-care: Hydrate often, eat snacks, and fruits, and take breaks during the session.  

Have a safer sex strategy: Take ownership of your health and discuss and inquire when your partner(s) got their HIV test or current HIV status. Ask if your sexual partners are on PrEP. Learn about U=U, as well as PEP if you become exposed to HIV. Get a prescription for doxycycline to prevent STIs. Condoms are safer sex strategies as well. 

Understand consent: Consent is just as important in PnP as in any other sexual encounter. Have open conversations with each other about what you are comfortable with and what your limits are, and watch out for any clues that someone may not have the capacity to consent.

Look out for red flags: Are you tired? Have you crossed a line? Do you need to press pause on the party, be it short-term (hours, days) or long-term (weeks, months)? Take care of yourself and don’t go overboard. 

It’s a good idea to speak with a friend and a healthcare professional you can trust about your partying.  This is crucial for feedback on responsible partying and self-care. 

Plan an exit strategy: Make it easy to leave by preparing a script if your gut instinct says to leave and ensure that you have a way to quickly get home, be it a cab fare, bus ticket, or a friend to come pick you up.

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4. How can someone responsibly tell someone they aren’t interested in hooking up with someone who is looking to engage in PnP?  

As is true with all hook-ups, it’s important you be respectful and kind. Decline the request with a simple “no, thank you.” You’re best to keep any judgments to yourself and refrain from offering your opinions on drug use.   

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5. How does one navigate consent with someone who is engaging in PnP?

In the queer men’s community, consent is not always clearly defined. So before substance use, you’re best to set boundaries of what you will engage in, as well as safe words, and sexual limits. 

Because substance use alters our perception, emotions, feelings, desires, boundary setting, and sexual limits, a person under the influence of drugs cannot always provide informed consent. Incoherent sentences, drowsiness, easily distractible or sleepiness are all signs that this person cannot consent. Silence is not to be taken as consent, and no means no. 

Check-in with your partner(s) body language and their verbal cues. Ask them if they enjoy or want to engage in a specific sex act. You can make it sexy and part of the scene. Ultimately, consent is not always just about saying no to what you don’t want, it can be about saying yes to what you do want.

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6. Does PnP affect your ability/desire to engage in sober sex?

The answer depends on the individual. For persons with problematic relationships with PnP, sober sex may be difficult to have or not even desired. For some queer men, sober sex brings their lived experiences of rejection to the forefront, which has a huge impact on self-confidence and self-worth. But some can manage their PnP experiences and not have it impact their desire or ability to experience sex sober.    

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7. Can you engage in PnP and still lead a responsible lifestyle? If so, what does that look like? 

Everyone has different coping, priorities, and structured ways to manage PnP. Remember what you value and prioritize in your life: Your job, family, spending time with friends, or a hobby, and fit partying in where it won’t interfere with these. 

As mentioned before, set your boundaries and limits, and stay true to them, as overusing some illicit drugs (even inadvertently) can be dangerous and potentially lethal. Build a support system that works with you to help you stay accountable. And learn to develop skills, and competencies to course-correct red flags in your behaviour. 

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8. What are some tips to effectively recover from the aftermath of PnP?

Rest and sleep are important to rejuvenate. Sleep can be difficult for some, so try a few options to tire out your brain on mindless TV, or reading a book, and sleep will eventually come.

Hydrate your body with water and electrolytes (Gatorade or homemade Gatorade).  Have some protein, and a balanced diet of fruits, nuts, salad, not just fatty foods and carbohydrates.  And as a general rule, avoid making major life decisions for 3-5 days, minimum (depending on how much you use). 

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9. Could ED treatment interfere with PnP drugs?

ED medications should not be combined with PnP drugs. For people coming down from a high, cocaine can result in priapism (prolonged erections). Dr. Yonah Krakowsky, the advising urologist at Felix, has had patients that get priapism every time they use cocaine. While there is not great evidence, use of ED drugs may increase this risk. Poppers or any nitrate-containing drugs should never be used with ED medication as they can dangerously lower blood pressure. Here are two helpful drug interaction resources: HIV Drug Interactions and Drugs.com. 

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‍This article was made possible thanks to our friends at Felix. You can check out more information about ED and how to stay hard via the Felix site. 

Felix does not in any way endorse or encourage the use of illicit drugs. 

When using certain drugs, you can be at an increased risk of  experiencing dehydration, being exposed to different STIs, drug-related injuries, mental or psychological harm, and minor or serious accidents and physical harm. In extreme cases, it can even lead to death.

The only way to completely avoid the potential risks associated with chemsex/PnP is to not use such substances at all. However, if you have already made the decision to do so, you are no less deserving of support in seeking to reduce harmful consequences that can arise. 

It is always advisable before engaging in chemsex/PnP, especially if in combination with other prescription medications, to discuss potential risks with your healthcare practitioner ahead of time.

Image for this article was created by Dylan Horner.